A 90-plus-year-old billionaire married a 24-year-old blonde, surely understanding that she would outlive him. The obvious happened; he died within a short time. She suddenly became very wealthy. Did she marry him because of his money? I use this story to illustrate a relationship concept we see in the Bible. In the book of Job, the first chapter, Satan's accusation to both God and Job is that "of course Job loves you - because of Your stuff. He loves you because You treat him royally. Just change that and he will curse You because Job doesn't really love You" (my paraphrase).
This story may reflect what happened to Lucifer in heaven. He worshipped God because of the "stuff" rather than for who He really is. Knowing the true character of another, which is where WE MUST LIVE, is the essence of relationships. The young lady who married the elderly gentleman may have gotten what she really wanted, but not what a marriage really is. Many relationships are rooted in what we want them to be rather than learning what they really are.
God, nor anyone looking for lasting, quality relationships, would ever settle for self-interest relationships. These relationships are unstable and potentially emotional. Core relationships are rooted in God's nature, therefore characterized by perseverance, not overly sensitive, not reactionary, and able to tolerate pain, sadness, and disagreements with enduring love (I Corinthians 13). These relationships result in depth of understanding and godly promotion. They are extraordinarily satisfying. Often, they are not what we really expected them to be. They are far better with God at the center.
This next part is profound and most important. The relationship of Christ and His Father has been given to us because Christ has been given to us. The same commitment, trust, and quality of love are ours. "I in them and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and HAST LOVED THEM AS THOU HAST LOVED ME" (John 17:23). To the disciples, He said, "Love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another" (John 13:34).
The Bible is written to meet us where we are. Jesus Christ could not reach Judas Iscariot and David could not reach his son, Absalom. These relationships had a natural element. They could not go anywhere but into complicated troubles. The elder son, in the story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15), could not get beyond his list of disappointments with his father and brother. We forfeit the eternal and spiritual for the sake of harboring grudges, embracing the temporary and looking for "the stuff." Some prayers could be more accurately written "Thank you, God, for 'the stuff' and by the way, I don't really know You...and if You hurt me...I'm out of here."
These relationships, like the one described at the beginning of this article, are not worth much. When we trust Him and learn to live by faith, then we find real value; value that affects our lives - and is eternal. Ask David, Peter, Paul, James, Mary Magdalene, and millions through history. We must continue on, looking at His character and confess with Job "though he slay me, yet I will trust him" (Job 13:20) and you will know also. Read the end of the story of Job and see what core relationships really mean. "Come and let us return unto the Lord: for he hath torn and he will heal us; he hath smitten, and he will bind us up...Then shall we know, if we follow on to know the Lord..." (Hosea 6:1, 3).
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